My thumbs, that is.
"Care instructions: Basil is tough, don't worry too much about it. Keep the soil lightly moist, and expose your plant to as much light as you can. As long as you leave the bottom two leafs on a stem, the stem will continue to branch and grow new basil Bon Appetit!"
What the heck?!?
Oh, and did I mention that my cacti are dead too?
I give up.